Talk:Doctrinal Conflict

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Revision as of 12:05, 21 December 2004 by Tssha (talk | contribs)
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Edited the first paragraph to be less passive, more specific, and also to correct the use of present tense and fix the mixing of tenses, as the rest of the document used past tense. Past tense is usually preferable because it makes an event seem more real, more definate, like it actually happened <===(just like that). Rearranged the Doctrine bracket to show the race's ownership of its specific doctrine and generally strengthen the sentence.

Moved subject of sentences before the operator, to make them stronger and easier to follow. Fixed the spelling error "devestated" and other things you can track with the edit history.

Also changed the first line of the fourth paragraph, to simplify and add more info.

Most of it was well done, just had some weak areas that needed shoring up. The last line/paragraph in particular was good. Tssha 13:05, 21 Dec 2004 (CET)